Your time in the bathroom is sacred, a time for yourself, a time to ponder, a time to... well...
My reason for bringing this up is I don't want you to lose out on that precious time, nor do I want to be part of it. So what I ask of you, no beg of you is, please wait until after you're done in the porcelain kingdom to call me for one simple reason... I CAN HEAR YOU! I don't want to hear that waterfall, I don't want to hear that flush, and I don't want to hear anything else that I consider myself too much of a lady to mention yet you feel it's necessary and appropriate to call me during this moment. And a message for those of you who don't listen to my advise, if I don't hear you washing your hands... I'm probably going to have to give you an elbow bump next time you come into my office, and possibly call you out on your unsanitary behavior.
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