You can throw a ninja star, but can you make an Excel spreadsheet?

I have lots of hobbies! Fishing, hiking, writing, crack (if you took that seriously, then I also like hookers and blow)... these are things I do alone, I do with my friends, who cares. That being said, my fishing and snorting abilities have nothing to do with my work, work ethic or experience.

So this is not a note to the resume builders, but to the teachers... those claiming to educate but are really the armpit of the resume society. You do not need a "hobbies" section on your resume. Please don't teach people they do, it wastes valuable space that they could be putting RELEVANT information. I'm sure they're a great, fun person, but in this instance- I.Don't.Care.

Here's just a small list of the hobbies that have been listed on multiple resumes (I swear, I can't make this shit up):
- Treasure Hunting
- Roller Derby
- Crazy Hippy Dancing
- Hacky Sack with my Friends
- Singing songs from Musicals
- Metal Detector Adventurer
- Masturbating... okay that wasn't really on a resume, but I bet someone's been tempted.

There are SO many more but this is a collection of my favorites. So please take note, no more "hobbies" section okay... unless it's "money giver" and in that case - HIRED.